In Grief for Our Anger - May Today's Victims RIP

My heart aches for this country and the world in the months ahead. When will the generalizations stop; the greed, insecurity, the inability to admit our own short comings subside? We scapegoat others for our personal troubles. Our lack of professional success, a rejection from the university of our dreams, or our personal heartbreak because a relationship failed. These are emotional rejections that hurt – sometimes they set us back for just a few weeks, but in some cases, they determine the outcome of our personal and professional lives. These setbacks sometimes determine our long-term trajectory, and of course, this will feed an emotional response. What we are currently witnessing is not new, but no less detrimental. Anger, emotional sense of injustice, or insecurity so strong that it clouds our judgement will eventually become a seed for negative thoughts, anger, a sense of despair or injustice that unleashes its external venom. Then comes the scapegoat – attempts to find ourselves as the victim of a greater conspiracy.

This morning, even before hearing about the mass shooting at the Pittsburgh synagogue, I spoke up for the first time about a comment that hurt me. The comment was not new. I’ve heard such things before, so often. Not in Ukraine, not in Poland, but right here in California. I’ve heard it from my liberal friends who are accepting of all beliefs. I’ve heard it from people who would never want to say anything to offend or hurt anyone else. And yet, Jews are cheap, according to my friends. Or Jews control the banking sector, according to some friends. Or perhaps Jews have great networks and connections, so it helps them with their admission into medical school programs. STOP! Simply stop and realize that these assertions make no sense. Each person who has said anything along these lines is worried about their own future. Each person is concerned about their own welfare, their socio-economic status, the injustices of having lost or been rejected in some way in the past. Each of these former friends has anxiously worked so hard to achieve something and been rejected or simply unable to achieve their ambitious goals on a level that allowed them to compete in this difficult life. The reality is that our highly educated society is both a blessing and a curse. Those who work hard, study, pursue greater things are often rejected just like those who never had a chance to begin with. The difference is that their self-pity is sometimes so self-consuming that the only scapegoat becomes a specific group that they can attack. It is too hard to accept defeat, to realize that competition makes some goals more challenging to achieve in a black and white manner. Some goals require creativity, flexibility, a bit of reflection and introspection, patience. Isn’t it just easier to blame others? My friend believes that his chances of acceptance into medical school is diminished in comparison to that of his Jewish friend, because the acceptance committee might have a Jewish member. I have no more words for this belief - it instills continued stereotypical scapegoating, diminishes the possible real reasons for another person's successes and achievements, and is a way of reestablishing the old patterns of perceiving other people's success as a result of superficial consequences rather than earned credibility.

We have to ask ourselves sometimes, do we simply believe certain "truths" because it’s so much easier to find fault with a system than with our own choices. We have to be kind enough and flexible enough to think this way. Unfortunately, our current leadership discourages thinking and endorses blind attacks, scapegoating, and demonizing the opponent rather than searching for a common solution. Our current leadership endorses blind rage, hatred, and acting out to attack, destroy, belittle and kill those in our society who have the courage to think and ask the questions that inevitably do set them apart. Should such people be blamed for having the courage to think? Should such people be blamed for others self-perceived failures, which could simply be used as a way to redirect and rethink our own goals and strengths? 

Each person is a gift – each person has skills, talents, abilities to raise the world to a better place. We as humanity have achieved such great heights, time and time again. The abilities that our hands and minds possess, even at our lowest points, surpass all imagination. I have seen beautiful art composed by wounded war veterans whose brains have been shattered from grenades, or who have lost their hands, become paralyzed, or experienced other horrors beyond describing. Their art surpasses the imagination – their paintings, executed despite having never even used a paintbrush before these wounds – are beyond expression. We have achieved the impossible, the ability to see into the cosmos, millions of light years away. We have determined the structure of the human cells, deconstructed the human genome, and gone so much further than we often have words to express - our language can barely keep up with our accomplishments. We can now understand how to heal emotional trauma, or begin the path toward reconciliation. Our abilities surpass our own potential to know what we can endure, overcome, perceive or imagine. If we are so well capable of these impossible accomplishments, then surely, we can find a way to think beyond our own disappointments and self-perceived failures and understand that destroying the lives of others because of our need to scapegoat will not solve our own perennial problems.

May the victims of our current struggle be the last. May this anger and hatred be broken, stopped, and reversed – may our leadership understand that the words that are spoken and policies that are pushed will only lead us down a path that will entangle us in far more tears and hatred. No winning is worth the destruction of our society, humanity, and neighbors’ lives.